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Submitted By: Jim Dobson (bbc.Dobson2125@pop-hosting.com)
Question: cool site
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Submitted By: Jim Dobson (bmk-Dobson6817@spatzer.com)
Question: I liked your site
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Submitted By: Jim Dobson (bmk-Dobson6817@spatzer.com)
Question: I liked your site
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Submitted By: MIke smith (M_S_5457blq@fun-email-online.com)
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Submitted By: fwdgsgg (fgvgerh@hotmail.com)
Question: why is my dick so large
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Submitted By: beary (fgvgerh@hotmail.com)
Question: why is angus such a dick head?
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Submitted By: Eddie Lewis (ImperialGrowlmon@cs.com)
Question: How can the world be SO annoying to me???
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Submitted By: ()
Question: dfg
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Submitted By: Luna Z (lunaz@hotmail.com)
Question: I have a large blue-green bump on my foot. Sometimes it tingles. Do you think I should have that checked out
The Rat Replies: The Rat has not yet replied...

Submitted By: dave (telekidd@earthlink.net)
Question: I have a brownface princeton repro cab I got stuck with by an unscrupulous seller. It might have been made by Holland. Do you know anyone who might want it? Thanks, Dave
The Rat Replies: The Rat has not yet replied...

Submitted By: simba (@noneofyourbusiness.com)
Question: yeah...what's with that pic. first of all, it lacks focus (much like you), secondly...i see a boogar on your honker!
The Rat Replies: Eat dingleberries, doofus. I challenge you to a duel!

Submitted By: Velvet (rsaxto@yahoo.com)
Question: Why haven't you updated your page? Get a new pic! Velvet
The Rat Replies: The Rat has not yet replied...

Submitted By: Kristy (kristypm2002@hotmail.com)
Question: I am caught between two married guys and i love them both. How do i choose one and not hurt the other. They do not know each other or about each other. Should i come out in the open and tell them about one another? I have been to bed with both and i can't handle it anmore. I truly love them both
The Rat Replies: You are wicked and cruel. You give your love freely to the undeserving. Please email doug@virtualtoad.com with your name and phone number, Doug will be contacting you shortly.

Submitted By: PeeVee (PeeVee@xtsr500.nl)
Question: I'm thinking of buying a '60 brownface pro. It's got a sillicon rectifier, do you think it's warm and comfortable enough for my two cats Bop & Willy? How does you boss like the brown Pro?
The Rat Replies: The brown Pro is my favorite amp to lie upon. The Harmonic vibrato stirs my soul like a warm wedgie.

Submitted By: zoe (zoegirl@meowmail.com)
Question: simba is dumb. he can't even communicate. look at what he wrote. does it make sense?
The Rat Replies: The Lion King blows Bronto. Find another hero, nimba.

Submitted By: simba (simbaman@meowmail.com)
Question: oh yeah, and i wanted to add ORANGE AND CATS ARE THE PRETTIEST KIND!!!
The Rat Replies: There's an explanation for that - when the doctor performed your lobotomy, he aimed too low and damaged your eyes.

Submitted By: Zoe (babyzoe@meowmail.com)
Question: why are boys always so dirty?
The Rat Replies: Because cleanliness is next to doofiness. NEXT PLEASE

Submitted By: simba (simbaman@meowmail.com)
Question: in fact, your german stinks. PU, what's that smell? Oh, must be your litterbox.
The Rat Replies: My butt in your face. Don't like the smell? Then stop kissing my butt.

Submitted By: Simba (simbaman@meomail.com)
Question: you look pretty stupid to me. what's your problem?
The Rat Replies: And you are a punk! Vile snake, puss twixt thy nostrils, funky thou aint!

Submitted By: luna (lunaz@hotmail.com)
Question: Don't you think orange and white cats are the prettiest kind?
The Rat Replies: oh HELL no. Orange and white cats (or UGGOS as I like to call them) were placed on this earth to lick my boots. So there!

Submitted By: mark (markfassler@hotmail.com)
Question: Why is the sky blue?
The Rat Replies: In uncertain times such as these, one cannot help but wonder. What is blue? Is it cyan? Azure? Divine providence has bestowed the sky with many colors, blue being but one! I warn you not to defy me!.

Submitted By: Chandler Lewis (chandler.lewis@att.net)
Question: How does David Blaine DO it?
The Rat Replies: Smoke and mirrors man, smoke and mirrors. Do you doubt my word? Bling Bling!!!

Submitted By: brian (brifay@pacbell.net)
Question: what is the meaning of death?
The Rat Replies: It is but the modest reward reserved for practitioners of that most foul of enterprises, life. Are you threatening me?!?!

Submitted By: John Glenn (jglenn@nasa.org)
Question: Why did NASA really send me up again?
The Rat Replies: To see if old man farts smell as bad in zero g as they do on earth. They're sending up Doug Harrison next.

Submitted By: Jenni (jenni@jennicam.org)
Question: Should I have taken my friend's fiancee for my own?
The Rat Replies: Not thee, but thy slimy troll who hast commited this foul crime. You are the victim! Courage!

Submitted By: raj (raj@fbi.gov)
Question: Why do you have a child's penis on your website?
The Rat Replies: Whither thou goest, fuckface! Show me YOUR sweet thang!

Submitted By: Jimmy (jimmy@swelteringanus.com)
Question: How many licks to the center of a tootsie pop?
The Rat Replies: Such knowledge is not meant for the likes of you, knave!!!

Submitted By: Ryan (ryan@onechannel.net)
Question: Why does Faythe have bunions?
The Rat Replies: BECAUSE SHE'S A FREAKIN HIPPIE! WEAR SOME SHOES!!!!!! .

Submitted By: David Campbell (dcampbell@onechannel.net)
Question: Does your daddy know what you taste like? Please specify, pussy...cat.
The Rat Replies: Tastes like chicken.

Submitted By: Ratt (soundork@mac.com)
Question: Is Cartman really fat, or just big boned?
The Rat Replies: Look inside yourself - only this will reveal the true answer.

Submitted By: doug (doughar@pacbell.net)
Question: will I always be celibate?
The Rat Replies: The truth would be too painful.

Submitted By: Jenny (jennydunn@excite.com)
Question: Who is the Toad's favorite person?
The Rat Replies: The WOMBAT!!!

Submitted By: Steve Malkos (smalkos@onechannel.net)
Question: Who's cat IS that?
The Rat Replies: Forsooth, it is a mystery.

Submitted By: Faythe (faythe@onechannel.net)
Date: 2926
Question: what should I cook for dinner tonight?
The Rat Replies: Potato pancakes & applesauce.



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